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I write a comic movie blog on WordPress where I discuss the real issues. I.e. which Avenger is hottest and why Kylo Ren had to be shirtless in the latest Star Wars. Here's a selection of my favorite blog pieces:

May 2019

Seth Rogen’s character is called Fred Flarsky in an obvious attempt to evoke the virility of Fred Flinstone.

April 2019

We’re not saying Zachary Levi took steroids. We’re just saying he’s started to look like a non-bald Vin Diesel (on steroids).

February 2019

Imagine you’re a broke washed up middle age biographer with a haircut that would resemble Bobby Brady’s if it wasn’t already thinning out. How far would you go to afford medication for your geriatric cat?

February 2019

Would you sacrifice your life savings to pour tequila down the throats of drunk strangers? Would you remember to bring your own toilet paper to a “luxury” music festival? And most importantly, what would it take for you to suck the dick of a government official?

 

November 2018

Travel to Belgravia, a vaguely European country where they all speak in British accents and have no defining national features. Think of it as a poor man’s Genovia, but without the pears.

October 2018

It’s Halloween so naturally the studios are rolling out the scariest thing they can think of: Jamie Lee Curtis in mom jeans.

October 2018

Since Rowan was so weird-looking to begin with, he’s actually aged pretty well.

May 2018

When Ryan Reynolds’ defining feature (his movie star good looks) are tragically destroyed by…what was it again? Cancer?…he is forced to entertain the audience by personality alone.

March 2018

You come for the Rock. You stay for Jack Black and Nick Jonas’ epic romance.

January 2018

Can we just talk about how their names are “Armie” and “Timothée”?

 
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